


Icecapades!

by Turist



Series: Prompt Fics [3]
Category: Batman (Movies 1989-1997), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Puns, Bondage, Camp, Comedy, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Humor, Light Bondage, Prompt Fic, Public Masturbation, Puns & Word Play, Romance, Sexual Roleplay, Slapstick, oddly wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:22:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turist/pseuds/Turist
Summary: The dastardly Mr. Freeze (1997 vintage - yes, that one) has captured Batgirl (probably not the one you're thinking of) in a web of terrible puns. Will their budding romance survive?...I swear this came out better than you'd think based on the tags.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Pamela Isley, Pamela Isley/Barbara Wilson, Victor Fries/Barbara Wilson
Series: Prompt Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159124
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Icecapades!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most ridiculous - i.e. my favorite - thing I've written to date. I'm especially proud of Robin's participation.
> 
> If you're looking for straightforward smut, please check some of my other chapters/stories - or some of the other fine authors on this site.

**PROMPT: _"_** _This isn't how you fight crime! Or: Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone) has her wrists and ankles frozen to the ground, leaving her in a face down, ass up position while Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) shoves his ice cold cock into her red hot pussy. It wouldn't be so bad, if only the bastard would shit his damn mouth! [Batgirl/Mr. Freeze; Face down, ass up, temperature difference, Batgirl's freezing (Batman & Robin 1997 canon)]"_  
  


  
“It looks like someone put you on _ice_ , Batgirl!”  
  
“Freeze!” Batgirl gasped, tugging on her restraints. She was half-lying face down on a huge chunk of snow and ice. Her hips were propped up, leaving her ass, tightly hugged by her suit, swaying in the air. Cuffs of ice rounded her wrists and ankles, holding her in place.  
  
All around them, the neon lights of Gotham’s decadent downtown glowed brightly, lighting up the rooftop of the abandoned rave supply factory. The old chimneys and air vents dotting the surface of the roof cast wild, shifting shadows around them.  
  
“I should have known you were behind this!” Batgirl cried, staring defiantly at the massive, armored figure of Mr. Freeze. He stood in front of her, twirling one of his ice rays in his gloved hands.  
  
“Ehr, well, uhm,” the villain stammered, red eyes darting over the massive pile of ice beneath the heroine, “yes? I thought that was obvious.”  
  
Batgirl grimaced, and wriggled her head, urging him to move on.  
  
“Oh, right,” he coughed awkwardly, then rallied, “no one will save you now, Batgirl! And I,” he reached over her prone body to cup her firm ass, then slid his fingers down to press against her pussy, “have something special in mind for you!”  
  
Freeze grinned and pressed a button on his forearm console. A triangular hatch at the crotch of his suit slid upwards with a hiss of cold vapor, allowing his sizeable, blue-skinned cock to spring free.  
  
Batgirl rolled her eyes. The idiot had actually added blue LEDs to his crotch-plate since the last time she saw him.  
  
Freeze shuffled closer, his cock brushing against Batgirl’s flushed cheek. She shivered at the icy touch, then groaned and craned her neck up.  
  
“You’d better put that – _mmmh –_ popsicle – _gluk –_ back in the cooler – _mmhm –_ snowman,” Batgirl gasped out as she worked the villain’s cock between her plush lips, “before it – _gluk –_ melts!”  
  
“It will take more than _cold_ words to beat me this time, Batgirl!” Freeze was really getting into the swing of it now.  
  
Batgirl groaned, and lunged her head forward, swallowing inch after inch of the man’s cold shaft. The strain of the movement broke one of her icy wrist cuffs.  
  
She waved it around in front of Freeze until it caught his attention.  
  
“Oh, sorry, let me get that,” he cursed and moved aside, his cock popping free of her lips.  
  
“Get it together, Victor. It’s amateur hour with you, every time,” Batgirl grumbled as he grabbed her wrist, securing back it to the ice block with a burst from his freeze ray. She saw his blue cheeks flush inside his helmet and decided to spare him further embarrassment.  
  
Instead, Batgirl took the opportunity to twist her head around to the other side, scowling at the figure leaning against the edge of the roof, who had been watching the proceedings silently.  
  
“And you, Poison Ivy,” she snapped, “I bet you’re in league with him!”  
  
“Oh no darling,” Pamela purred back, stretching her full-figured body luxuriously, “don’t mistake me for a _cold_ digger.”  
  
Batgirl groaned again. Freeze finished with her wrist, and was now moving around behind her, his gloved fingers gliding over her slick suit. She wriggled a little, testing her bonds, then settled down, satisfied for the moment.  
  
“So why are you here,” she shot Poison Ivy a fierce stare, “another one of your elabo _root_ schemes?”  
  
The redhead giggled and spread her thighs apart, flashing Batgirl a quick, familiar glimpse of her pussy before her fingers slipped between her legs. “You know me Batgirl, I just love watching a relationship _blossom.”_  
  
Batgirl didn’t have a chance to reply as she felt both of Freeze’s hands grasping at her thighs. There was slick tearing noise, and she felt the gusset of her suit give way. Cold air rushed against her exposed pussy, and she shivered, her flushed skin trembling in the chill.  
  
Freeze’s gloved finger brushed against her clit, and Batgirl moaned. At least he also added the vibration feature she had asked him for.  
  
“And now Batgirl,” he growled, and she felt the cold head of his cock press against her entrance, “it’s time for me to _ice_ this deal.”  
  
She grunted as he thrust forward, her warm snatch stretching deliciously around his firm, cold rod. The shivers it sent up her spine tingled delightfully.  
  
He waited a moment, allowing her to adjust, then pressed forward more, slowly sinking his whole length into her wet, warm core. She moaned aloud, shuddering with every inch. From her side, Poison Ivy gave a sympathetic groan, her hand between her thighs speeding up.  
  
Freeze adjusted his grip on her waist, and started thrusting, his pace precise and controlled.  
  
“You – _ooh –_ you better enjoy the warm welcome while you can – _ahh, wait, ok ok go, more -_ ” Batgirl moaned out, “because any _second_ , my _friend_ will be along to break up _– ahh –_ this little _icecapade!”_  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Poison Ivy primp her hair. She started the count under her breath.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Mr. Freeze paused uncertainly, mid thrust. “Should I -?”  
  
“Just keep going,” Batgirl said, a new note of urgency in her voice. She’d used the time to find a particularly well-placed bump of smooth ice, angling her hips slightly until it brushed against her clit on every stroke of the villain’s cock.  
  
A full minute later, Robin triumphantly popped up from behind a chimney, a bola whirling above his head.  
  
Batgirl's forehead smacked down against the iceblock with a dull _thump._ Her groan had a different timbre this time.  
  
Poison Ivy’s moans rose in pitch slightly.  
  
“Looks like an early thaw is here, Freeze,” Robin declared proudly, “let her free or -”  
  
An ice ray took him in the chest, sending him falling over backwards, the bola harmlessly whirling away into the shadows. A muffled curse reached them, then there was some shuffling, followed by self-conscious silence.  
  
“That bird should have flown south for the winter,” Mr. Freeze grinned down at his bound captive, grinding his hips against her ass. “Eh? Eh?”  
  
“Oh, that’s _– keep going -_ that’s not even a pun, you-” she gasped out, shivering as her juicing snatch clamping down hard on his cold shaft.  
  
“Actually,” the chimney piped up brightly, “the migration patterns of Robins are quite complex, and -”  
  
“Shut up, Dick!” Batgirl’s snarled in frustration. The chimney lapsed into embarrassed silence once more.  
  
“He can master laundry karate but can’t time – _ah! Harder! –_ an entrance worth – _oh yes!_ – worth a damn,” she added under her breath, “wasn’t he in the circus?”  
  
“You, icebrain” Batgirl’s voice rose, “pick up the pace, and hit me with the good stuff – _ooh!_ ”  
  
“You’re Gotham’s town bi-icicle,” Mr. Freeze grunted, his hips picking up speed, Batgirl’s ample ass wobbling beneath him with each thrust. His vibrating gloved finger pressed against her ass, slipping inside the tight hole.  
  
“That - _oh yeah -_ that’s a stretch,” Batgirl’s eyes rolled as she bucked her hips back as far as her reinforced bonds would allow, “besides – _Goddamn it_ , Dick, you are ruining this for me!!”  
  
Her angry shout stopped Robin’s arm mid-throw, the smoke bomb dropping from his limp fingers. He lurched in place vaguely for a moment, then slowly crouched down behind his chimney again.  
  
The smoke bomb went off with a soft _puff_. The coughing lasted only a minute.  
  
“S - _cough -_ Sorry,” Dick’s voice sounded raw and hoarse, “but – _cough -_ you said - ”  
  
“I know what I said! I _don’t_ know what you heard! Just – _nnngh, slower, lift my hips a bit, there!_ – just,” Batgirl tossed her sweat sheened hair over her shoulder and glared at Poison Ivy, “Pamela, can you…?”  
  
The redhead pouted indignantly but slid her hand out from between her thighs and rose gracefully to her feet. She sashayed forward, pausing as she passed by Batgirl’s head.  
  
“You owe me for this one,” she purred downward, tracing her slick fingers across the bound woman’s cheek.  
  
Locking eyes with her, Batgirl craned her neck and wrapped her pillowy lips around Poison Ivy’s fingers. She made a show of it. Pamela indulged her, smiling down wolfishly, before pulling her hand away.  
  
“Now,” she reached up, adjusting her bust within her tight green leotard, then striding forward purposefully, “it’s time to catch that annoying insect in my venus fly trap!” She took a few more steps, then looked over her shoulder, “And by venus fly trap, I mean my -”  
  
“We know!” three voices shouted back at her. Dick was a half-word behind the others but he made up for it with enthusiasm.  
  
Poison Ivy huffed indignantly, and rounded Dick’s favorite chimney. There was a brief silence, followed by giggling and the sound of spandex being shifted about. Pamela’s bright red up-do re-emerged over the top of the chimney, swaying lightly. Then it started bouncing up and down rhythmically, her moans picking up pace again.  
  
Batgirl paid little attention. She could feel Victor’s thrusts begin to lose their rhythm. He was close, she knew, and her own peak was not far off. Just a little push…  
  
“Come on, Freeze, come _ooonnn,_ give it to me, _”_ she groaned, bucking her hips up, her ass smashing against his armored suit.  
  
“The iceman – the iceman come-,” the man grunted heavily, but Batgirl shook her head.  
  
“No, no – _ahhh -_ you used that one before, come _on!_ ”  
  
“Winter – winter is -”  
  
“Too – _yes! –_ too late for that one!”  
  
The man groped around desperately, but his mind was focused on other things besides wordplay.  
  
With a final thrust, he held himself deep inside her and came, the spurts of his icy cum flooding her warm snatch.  
  
“Icing– _nnng –_ on the – cake,” he gasped out stupidly, his hips twitching against her  
  
“You – you – dumb - _oh fuck, oh fuck -yeaaasss!”_ Batgirl wailed aloud, her anger and frustration wiped away as her climax finally crashed over her. Her belly spasmed, the intensity almost painful as she squeezed herself down on his still-spurting cock.  
  
After, as Pamela’s cries were reaching another crescendo behind them, Batgirl sat on the iceblock, shaking out the last bits of frost from her long blonde hair.  
  
Freeze stood in front of her, crotch plate safely stowed away once more.  
  
“How was that?” he asked anxiously, his gloved fingers clenching over each other.  
  
Batgirl gave him a look, and he cringed back.  
  
“Icing? Icing? That’s the _wrong pun_ , Victor! We talked about this! Literally _right_ before we started!”  
  
The villain turned away, blue cheeks glowing again.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
One of her hands grabbed his arm and he hesitantly turned back to her.  
  
She smiled. “It did feel _ice.”_


End file.
